Harry Potter and Manslaughter Suit in Wonderland
by Cartoonpen
Summary: Harry and Hermione meet a door. Warning: Every chapter, someone will die!Other stuff happenings,........and there are ninjas!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Harry Potter, or any of it's characters.**

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Harry Potter and the Manslaughter Suit in Wonderland**

Hermione and Harry were working on their magic spells, when all of a sudden, Draco Malfoy came running along in a bunny suit. 'I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, no time to destroy you Potter, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late,' he cried and ran into a hole.

'Lets catch him Hermione!' Harry yelled back to Hermione as he was going in the hole.

Inside they found a door with a mouth and eyes. 'Hello, please go through me, I'm not locked or anything' says the door with a sweet smile.

'Argh, a talking door. I'll save you Hermione! Door-ious mini-ious' cried Harry, and just then the door shrank to a tiny size.

'Harry, was that really a good idea?' asked Hermione.

Harry sat down and thought long and hard. So long and hard that he got thristy and drank the bottle marked 'drink me' next to him. He then shrank to the size of the door.

'Oh no, Harry' screached Hermione. She didn't even check the label of the bottle. It was marked poison, and she fell down dead.

'Oh no, Herminoe, I'll revenge you, door-ious lock-ious' cried Harry, and the door that was the same size as he was then locked itself.

'Ok Harry, there are two things we can do now.

1: you get the key that it up on the table, or

2: you use magic to unlock me.," the door instructed Harry.

'I've had enough of you fiendish door, door-ious explod-ious' cried Harry, and the door fell into a thousands pieces, mostly landing on Hermione.

'Ha, Harry-1 Door-0,' Harry laughted as he entered through the now smoking door.

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I hope you like it and there will be some more chapters when I get around to writing them. Reviews welcome. 


	2. yellow brick road

**Harry Potter and the Manslaughter Suit in Wonderland-- Second Chapter**

Harry skipped along the yellow brick road and was very surprised to find a scarecrow reading a book out loud to a bunch of feral rabbits, which were attacking him. As Harry watched the rabbits biting off the scarecrows ear and the straw inside him spilling out, he finally came to the conclusion, that he was hungry. So when the scarecrow fell to the ground and stopped moving and talking, Harry stepped over him and the happy looking rabbits that lay next to the big hay stack (aka the scarecrow) and went to find some edible food wherever he would be able to find it.

As Harry entered the woods, he found a lovely red cloak that fit him just fine. The red from the cloak really matched his cheeks, and he thought it did wonders for his figure. He decided to keep up his search for food. After a few hours Harry finally decided he would have to eat the flowers that were growing on the ground next to him. Just as he was about to start, a wolf came out from behind the tree in front of Harry

"Little Miss Riding Hood, where are you going?" the wolf asked.

Harry looked up in surprise at the wolf; the wolf looked down at Harry's face and screamed out so loud that even the old woman who lived in a shoe could hear,

"YOU'RE A GUY!"

At that exact moment, three little pigs were coming down the yellow brick road talking to Goldilocks, and as….

"Ok, ok time out, Narrator you are reading from the fairy tale book, not this book. Get it right! Oh never mind! I'm coming down there to straighten you out."

Harry walked down the very nice path that led to the Mad Hatter Tea House, the one that no-one talks about in any stories (you know, the nice pink one) and smashed through the gate. There standing in front of him was the most beautiful, black haired, white faced person who was definitely not the Narrator of this story. She also wore a very nice 'realistic' moustache!

"Where can I find the Narrator? I have a few problems with the script," Harry said bluntly.

"Narrator? I haven't seen any Narrator, though I bet this 'Narrator' is doing a fine job," said the beautiful person who was definitely not the Narrator.

"So, what's with the fake moustache? Also…hey, is this a pike?" asked Harry.

"The moustache? Oh, I wear it so I can get into the story and no one will know I'm the Narrator! OH NO…. I just it gave away. Anyway, I think it was a good idea to get the stories mixed up. You destroy everything and everyone, so the further away you are, the better!" the Narrator stated.

"That is so NOT true!" cried Harry, who was holding a pike which had Snape (aka The March Hare) impaled on it.

"Oh, come on. I was going to have tea with Snape. He is the March Hare,' said Harry.

"You really do destroy everything, don't you?" The Narrator stated.

"I do not" said Harry who now held a pike that had Snape and a variety of woodland animals impaled on it.

"Hey what's this?" asks Harry as he picks up a scroll that had just rolled up to him. "Ah, it's nothing important. Just an ancient ninja scroll, which is priceless," said Harry.

He threw down the scroll and the pike ate the Narrator and left. The Narrator was just able to dodge the pike but was not so lucky with the scroll. As the scroll hits her, a bunch of ninja's come out from the trees.

"You have unravelled the great ancient scroll of……greatness! You shall now die!" said one of the ninja's, and they all started to attack the Narrator.

(For those who are worried about me, I'm fine. I was able to run out of the story around lunchtime, when the ninja's stopped and had tea with the pike impaled Snape. Though I don't think they noticed he was dead! Luckily the aliens who were expected to arrive at the same time as the ninja's were held up. So I got out of being beaten by those guys too. If you want to make a poor, sad, person like me, happy then please do review this story.)

As Harry walked down the next path, he felt a little guilty, for some reason. After a while he decided that he shouldn't, because he was the greatest thing in this world, and that was that. As he came to the end of the path, he found Ron in a purple cat costume (aka The Cheshire Cat).

"Shouldn't you have appeared earlier? It says in the book. You were expected to meet me for the first time BEFORE I meet the Mad Hatter (in other words, the Narrator)," scolded Harry.

Ron looked Harry over, then again, then again, then again, then again. "Are you a girl or a boy? I can't tell with that cloak on," asked Ron.

"I'm a guy. Now, tell me cat, where should I go?" asked Harry.

"Oh, you should meet the queen, she/he is evil. I think you both will get along fine!" Ron told Harry as he pulled a lever that Harry didn't see before.

As Harry watched there came a sound he knew too well.

"Sorry, I have a slow connection; the tree is dialling up so it can open. It should only take a few minutes." Ron said as the tree kept making the sound. "So……..what do you think of Wonderland?" asked Ron, looking awkward.

"Oh, yes, it is very nice………How much do apartments cost here?" asked Harry.

"I don't know my self, it would be best to ask the queen!" Ron said.

After a few hours the door in the tree stopped making that sound.

"The trees' unlocked. You can now open it and…" Ron started to say, but Harry was already at the door, and had swung it open and gone inside.

The door struck Ron so hard, he was flung back and fell off the cliff that was next to the tree. Just then a female came by looking for Ron because she had heard of a sale on fake moustaches.

"Where is he? I want to look like the Narrator!" she said.

Ron had missed his first and only customer. After a few moments the aliens came and abducted the poor, moustache seeking female and flew off, in search of a place that sold cheap hamburgers.

End of chapter two

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See, I put you in the story, magicsmith. You're that poor moustache seeking female. Nice catchy name, don't you think?

Please Review all those who read or…..I will cry

I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.


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